“Traditional” families—father, mother, and children under 18—comprise only 27 percent of U.S. households. Who are the other 73 percent? They include other couples with an empty nest, grandparents caring for grandchildren, single parents and their children, the widowed, singles, cohabiting men and women, and childless or voluntarily child-free married people.
To judge from the North American divorce rate—roughly 40 percent of Canadian marriages and half of U.S. marriages end in divorce—marriage has become a union that often defies management. In Europe, too, divorce is nearly as common, after increasing 400 percent between 1960 and 1985.
In fact, among Americans married in the early 1970s, only a third in 1986 was still married and proclaiming their marriages very happy. Newlyweds beware: Don’t take a successful marriage for granted, because the odds are you will not live happily ever after. Still, there is brighter news about marriage. More than 9 in 10 adults marry. Of those who divorce, 75 percent remarry—and their second marriages are virtually as happy as the average first marriage and fewer than 25 percent of unmarried adults, but nearly 40 percent of married adults, report being “very happy” with life.
Often, love bears children. The most enduring of life changes, having a child, is for most people a happy event. As children begin to absorb time, money, and emotional energy, however, satisfaction with the marriage itself often declines. This is especially so among those employed women who bear the traditional burden of increased chores at home. Although U.S. husbands, on average, do one-third of household tasks. For most women, work is never done.
Another significant event in family life happens when children leave home. If you have left home, consider your parents’ experience: Did they suffer an “empty nest syndrome”—was either of them distressed by a loss of purpose and relationship? Or did your parents discover renewed freedom, relaxation, and satisfaction with their own relationship?
Every individual desires to have his/her own partner in life; thus, desires to be loved and to loved. This is the reason why young people and older ones indulge in courtship to seek love and find a potential partner for marriage. This motivates everyone to watch romantic movies and read novels that show two people who are head over heels in love with each other. Most movies like “Cinderella, A Walk to Remember, A Knight’s Tale and many others” portray love, courtship and marriage with exaggeration. These movies show a fairytale scenario that they live happily ever and after and other movies show tragedy like “Ghost, City of Angels, Titanic and many others” but in real life it is the other way around.
Yes, having a perfect love is not a bed of roses. It always has thorns that make the love sweet. It is so natural to for two people to be in love but the question is—is the person an individual feels in love with is the person meant for him/her? Loving someone is a choice and not by feelings. When an individual plans to court, it must be motivated by love and commitment but not by feelings alone. Feelings fluctuate and deceive individual’s emotion. If love is based on feelings alone and not by commitment, there is a tendency that we fall out of love with our partners if we discover their flaws and weaknesses. That is why divorce is very rampant nowadays and I can attest to that because I am from a broken family.
My parents got divorced and decided to marry other individuals. It is the hardest thing ever happen to our family. Because of the wrong decision made by my parents when they were still young, they reap the consequence and separate ways. I am the one who suffered most because I desired to have a complete and happy family but it seems that it would only be a dream. At present, many young individuals are too quick to decide in getting married. Marriage is a scared matter that is blessed by God. Young people must not be in a rush in getting married and they must think it millions times before they will settle down because it is not them who will suffer most but their children.
Inevitably, the passion of romantic love subsides. The intense absorption in the other, the thrill of the romance, the giddy “floating on a cloud” feelings fade. JUST MARRIED becomes just married, the magic lost. So are the French correct in saying that “love makes the time pass and time makes love pass”? There may be adaptive wisdom to this change from passion to affection.
Passionate love often brings children, whose survival is aided by the parents’ waning obsession with one another. If the inevitable odds against eternal passionate love in a relationship were better understood, more people might choose to be satisfied with the quieter feelings of satisfaction and contentment. One key to a gratifying and enduring relationship is equity: Both partners receive in proportion to what they give.
When equity exists—when both partners freely give and receive, when they share decision, making—their chances for sustained and satisfying companionate love are good. Mutually sharing and possessions, giving and getting emotional support, promoting and caring about one another’s welfare, are at the core of every type of loving relationship, whether between lovers, parent and child, or intimate friends.
B. Brief Description of a Current Love Relationship
The romantic relationship that I have now with my partner is such a great feeling and a fulfillment to both of us. This relationship of ours is full of love and also practices the give and take relationship. We see to it that there is always balance within us; thus, both of us make sure that we satisfy each other with genuine love and faithfulness. We know each others flaws but accept them whole heartedly because that is part of the package deal as we started loving each other. Our love is based on our decision and commitment and not by feelings alone.
Passionate love can be viewed as a temporary, aroused sate that we cognitively labels as love. The strong affection of companionate love, which often emerges as a relationship matures, is enhanced by an equitable relationship and by intimate self-disclosure.
True love sustains the marriage. No matter how life difficult is, the two people who are committed and bind with love can survive the storms of their relationship. Young individuals must not rush in making decisions in getting married but must think million times.