Marriage vs. Cohabitation There are many people that say that getting married before living together is the best way to go. They have many negative things to say about living together also called cohabitation. Linda J Waite is one of this people, she has many negative things to say about cohabitation. She wrote an article called “The Negative effects of Cohabitation” where she states many down sides of cohabitation which I disagree upon. The three main things that I disagree upon are domestic violence, emotional wellbeing, and wealth.
When it comes to hitting, shoving and throwing things, “cohabiting couples are more than three times more likely than the married to say things get that far out of hand she says in her article. Which I disagree it doesn’t matter if your married or not your partner will still hit you. ‘According to the American association for marriage and family therapy (AAMFT)” in almost 20% of all marriage, couples slap, shove, hit, or otherwise assault each other. Emotional abuse verbal threats, humiliation, or degrading remarks, and controlling behavior are more common.
Once you’re married you have to obey your husband’s rules and if we don’t there will be consequences. Married couples are more likely to be in domestic violence in my opinion because they expect more from there couples. Since there married they have to listen and do more to keep the husband happy. “Marriage is, by design and agreement for the long run. Married people, thus see their relationships as much more stable as cohabiting couples do. ” I also disagree with this saying that Linda j. Waite states in her article. The reason why I disagree is because there are many divorce rates now and days.
If it was true what she says then there won’t be so many divorce rates. She says states that married couples are happier than cohabitating couples. She also states that children who are in cohabitating couples are less likely to succeed and this is a big lie in my opinion. For example, what about if we get married and then we live together, then we realize that the person who we once dated isn’t the person we actually married. Then we realize that we don’t want to be with leading to divorce. In the other hand cohabitation helps you learn the good and bad things about your partner before we ask the question.
This can lead to a healthier lovable relationship prior to the one where we get married first then get to learn the good and bad things about our partner. As prior to her statement about the children, I disagree because I have many friends that live with cohabitating families their parents are married. They still go to school and they are being successful. We can’t blame cohabitation to someone being unsuccessful. In fact many children with married families become unsuccessful do to their parent’s divorce. Married couples link their fates-including their finances. Linda j .
Waite states that married couples benefit more in income if there married which I disagree. In fact, cohabitation offers similar benefits to marriage without the potential pain of divorce. “If you’re just living together and if one of you decides they want to leave… ” said one participant, “you can leave and it will just be OK … whereas if you’re married you’ve got to go through lawyers and attorneys, and depending on the type of situation it is it can be an ugly divorce. ” So no if were married we do benefit more in wealth it will be the same benefit because couples actually decide to do cohabitation to share expenses . ttp://www. theatlantic. com/health/archive/2012/02/the-marriage-problem-why-many-are-choosing-cohabitation-instead/252505/ People get married because they’re afraid of being lonely for the rest of their lives. There not realizing that by rushing into marriage that they can end up having a divorced life. When you live in cohabitation you have the liberty to leave when you want no broken vows. So do we rather want to have a divorced life or be happy that’s the question to ask ourselves before getting married? http://www. gwu. edu/~ccps/rcq/rcq_negativeeffects_waite. html