Moderating Conflict – My conflict with my parents
The current personal conflict that I am experiencing right now is regarding my parents and having a part-time job. I decided to have a part-time job so that I could somehow support myself while I’m studying, something which could give me a spare money during my free time. For me, I can manage to work and study at the same time because I’m a dedicated person when it comes to academic matters. When it comes to my examinations, I devote enough time to study so that I would get good marks. When it comes to projects and requirements, I make sure that I pass it before the deadline so that there won’t be any problems with my teachers.
But the real problem is not with me, but with my parents. They are afraid that I might spend so much time with my part-time job and less time with my studies. They fear that as I go along with this part-time job, I would slowly loose interest with academic matters. They think that it could hinder me from pursuing my education, especially if I would start earning money. Both my mother and my father disagree, arguing that I would be better off if I just concentrated on my studies. I know they’re just concerned with my well-being, since they know how dedicated I am with my studies. The problem however, is that they don’t understand my reasons why I wanted the part-time job.
I have many reasons why I wanted the part-time job. One would be the financial support that I could get from it. I wouldn’t have to rely to my parents for extra money when it comes to my personal expenses. It could also introduce me to an independent lifestyle, which I know would really come one way or another. Having this part-time job is not solely for the money, but also a good way to learn. It could be a very important experience for me, especially when it comes to my attitude towards work and my studies. Surely, it is important to prioritize my studies. However, it is also important to be introduced to the real world, wherein I’ll be able to learn how it is like to be handled by superiors, and develop a certain work attitude.
The best way to moderate this conflict between me and my parents is through dialogue (Hamel, Doz, & Prahalad, 1989). The key for them to accept my decision regarding the part-time job is for them to understand my reasons. It is best if I would be able to explain to them my point. This could be done by looking for the right situation to talk to them, and it would be best if I could talk to them separately, so that they’ll understand without bothering about the opinion of the other. During the dialogue, I should be able to clearly explain why it is ok for me to have this part-time job (Pfeffer, 1999).
The approach that I think would best be accepted by them is how important it is to my future. An experience such as this would greatly help me to have a grasp of what lies ahead after my studies. This is the point which I think would connect my parents and the part-time job. Both my parents are concerned about my future that’s why they are wary about the decisions I make and take. If they would be able to see how this part-time job could positively affect me and my future, then I am sure that they would approve of it. The key is for them to fully understand it (Pfeffer, 1999).
Moderating conflict is a case-to-case basis. The resolution of the conflict is dependent on the situation being faced (Wilmot & Hocker, 2001). In this conflict which I have with my parents, the best approach is to have a dialogue with them and explain to the possible outcomes of the decisions I take. Through this, I would be able to show them that having a part-time job could help me build a future instead of clouding it.
Hamel, G., Doz, Y. L., & Prahalad, C. K. (1989). Collaborate with your competitors – and win Harvard Business Review, Vol. 67(No.1).
Pfeffer, J. S. (1999). The smart-talk trap. Harvard Business Review, Vol. 77(No.3,).
Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J. L. (2001). Interpersonal Conflict (6th ed.). New York, N.Y.: McGraw-Hill.