I have earned recently that sometimes we lose something to gain something. I have experienced a hurt that was so deep that it was my belief that it would never end. I recently was blessed to have a brand new grandchild a girl. This little girl could not have come at a better time in my life. Brianna Scott was born on November 30. 2010 at 8:14 pm. This could not have been better timing. Three years ago one of my grandsons’s hung himself and now lives in a vegetative state. I lost all joy around the holidays, because this little boy always wanted to be with me during the holidays.
I lost the holiday spirit after this tragedy happened I found myself in a deep depression state. There was days when I did not want to do anything but cry. I prayed to no end for a miracle to happen. I finally had to accept that here would be no miracle this time. I experienced so many different emotions on a daily basis and for the life of me I could not get a grip on any of my emotions. I begin to question whether or not I could have done something to prevent this tragedy. It took intense therapy to find my way out of this hole. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this tragedy.
I was simply co-existing prior to Brianna being born. This little girl has no idea what her birth has brought into my life. I feel as if God has given me a new joy and a fresh breath into my life. I look at this little girl and my heart smiles again. When I talk to Brianna and tell her I love her she looks at me and smiles. I know that Brianna is only six weeks old but I truly believe she understands me when I tell her that I love her. I sometimes catch myself wondering if my grandson would be jealous of her. I believe that I knew this little boy better than his own parents. He would not have been jealous but instead embraced her.
Chances are I would have had to ask him to move over and let me have some time with Brianna. I do indeed believe that Brianna is something precious sent to me by God to ease the pain that I have been forced to live with. If you could see this little girl you too would believe that she understands when you tell her that you love her. I always tell her how precious she is and that she has brought unspeakable joy to my life. I wish that I could put into words how much this little girl has done for me emotionally. I have joy once again and believe it or not I actually celebrated the holidays.
I did not have a sad moment for a change and took the time to thank God for such a precious gift. This is the gift that keeps on giving. If someone had told me that when this little girl was born the pain I was enduring would ease up I would have called them a lie. I now can live with the pain and my heart doesn’t ache as much as it did prior to Brianna’s birth. I can get threw the day now without crying and feeling so empty. I look forward to keeping this bundle of joy now. Even though she has her day’s mixed up with her nights I would not change a thing about her. After all Brianna truly is something precious to my whole family.