Tag: Love

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-one Being the Chronicles of Abby Normal: Not Unlike the Toaster, I Control the Darkness So I slept a little that day, and talked to my sweet love-ninja, Foo, a couple of times on the phone, then he came over and we left Jared with some blood for Lord Flood and the Countess when …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 29~30

Chapter Twenty-nine Don’t You Hate Running into Your Ex? As soon as she unlocked the new loft’s security door from the street, Jody smelled blood, burned flesh, and shampoo. A case of the willies that felt like an electric serpent slithered up her spine. She went up the stairs, light on the balls of her …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 27~28

Chapter Twenty-seven Well, That Was Fucked Up “Then, Lucifer Two attains the blood sword and takes Jared the White as his consort, and they hold dominion over all of the Kindred for ever and ever,” said Jared White Wolf, concluding the hour-long plot synopsis of his unwritten epic vampire adventure novel. “So what do you …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 25~26

Chapter Twenty-five They Know Not What They Do When Rivera and Cavuto arrived at the Safeway, they found that the remaining Animals had crucified Clint on a stainless-steel chip rack and were shooting him with paint-ball guns. Lash unlocked the door to let them in. The Emperor and his men followed. Clint’s screaming sent Bummer …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 23~24

Chapter Twenty-three Being the Chronicles of Abby Normal: The Hunted Apparently I am the Hunted, which, I want to note here, I am totally not qualified for. Here I sit, perched in the rafters (I think these things are rafters) of the Oakland Bay Bridge like a crippled night bird, waiting for doom to descend …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 21~22

Chapter Twenty-one Ladies and Gentlemen, Presenting the Disappointments He was the best one-handed free-throw shooter in the Bay Area, and that Christmas night he had sunk sixty-four in a row in his driveway hoop, shooting the new leather Spauldingball his dad had left under the tree for him. Sixty-seven in a row, without ever setting …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 19~20

Chapter Nineteen Our Dead Homeys The vampires sat side by side on the bare futon frame, watching as a five-legged bug limped up the big front window of the loft. Tommy thought that the rhythm of the bug’s steps made a for a danceable backbeat – thought he might be able to set music to …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen Nobody Likes a Dead Whore Finding her boyfriend tied naked to an upright bed frame, covered in blood, with a dead, blue dominatrix at his feet would be enough to rattle some women’s confidence in the stability of their relationship. Some women might even take it as a sign of trouble. But Jody …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 16~17

Chapter Sixteen Being the Chronicles of Abby Normal: Completely Fucked Servant of the Vampyre Flood OMFG-WOOT! I have failed, left my duty undone, like so much dog poop on the gloaming sidewalk of the tragedy that is my life. Even as I sit here at the Metreon Starbucks, writing this, the froth slaves seem to …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 14~15

Chapter Fourteen Powers for Good The Emperor was sitting on a black marble bench just around the corner from the great opera house, feeling small and ashamed, when he saw the striking redhead in jeans coming toward him. Bummer lapsed into a barking fit and the Emperor snatched the Boston terrier up by the scruff …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 11~13

Chapter Eleven Then, When They Woke Up “Oh my God, that stuff turned me completely orange.” “Not completely.” “I look like the Great Pumpkin.” “Good grief, Tommy, you do not.” Chapter Twelve Blood, Coffee, Sex, Magix – Not necessarily in That Order Just after sundown. They watched the coffee dripping out of the filter like …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 9~10

Chapter Nine It’s Like Time Travel, Only You know, Slower… THE CHRONICLES OF ABBY NORMAL: Tortured Victim of the Daylight Dwellers So here I am again, to open my veins and spill my pain onto your pages. My dark friend, after sixteen years of totally boring existence, I come to you at last with a …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 8

Chapter Eight She Walks in Beauty Jody moved down Columbus Avenue with long, runway-model strides, feeling the windblown fog brush by her like the chill ghosts of rejected suitors. What she could never teach Tommy, what she could never really share with him, was what it felt like to move from being a victim – …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 7

Chapter Seven The List While Jody showered, Tommy made a list. Feed Laundry New Apartment Toothpaste Sweet Monkey Love Windex Dispose of Vampire Minion “What do we need an onion for?” Jody asked. She was having a little trouble getting her vision to focus. “Minion, minion,” Tommy said. “Mint-flavored onion? Why do we need that?” …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 6

Chapter Six Do Animals Get the Blues? Clint was the only one of the Animals still left at the Marina Safeway. He was tall, with a wild mop of dark hair and thick, horn-rimmed glasses that were held together with medical tape, and he had a look of deep panic on his face. He’d been …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 4~5

Chapter Four Red and White and Dead all Over Rapoc stuffing and chicken feathers lay in great, fluffy drifts across the room, along with the shreds of their clothing, the futon cover, pieces of a fuzzy, Muppet-skin rug, and the crushed remains of a couple of cheap-ass Pier 1 paper lanterns. Sparks crackled from the …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 2~3

Chapter Two The Last Poop “So that was it?” “Yep.” “Never again?” “Nope.” “Not ever?” “Nope.” “I feel like I should save them or something.” “Would you just flush and come out of there.” Chapter Three I am Poor and My Cat Is Huge Jody walked a step or two behind Tommy, just watching him, …

You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 1

For my readers, by request ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Thanks, again, to the usual suspects: my agent, Nick Ellison, and Sarah Dickman, Arija Weddle, and Marissa Matteo at Nicholas Ellison, Inc.; Jennifer Brehl, Kate Nintzel, Lisa Gallagher, Michael Morrison, Mike Spradlin, Jack Womack, Debbie Stier, Lynn Grady, and all my friends at William Morrow; and, of course, to …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 65~67

65 Down to the Promised Land Malink joined Tuck on the flight deck and tried to work the flight officer’s harness around his belly as Tuck released the ground brakes and the jet started rolling. The two fighters did another pass overhead, one of the pilots warning Tuck not to attempt to take off. “You …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 62~64

62 Like Clockwork Spies Malink found the old cannibal in a small clearing in the jungle, urinating on a young banana tree. “I brought you food.” Malink dropped the basket and sat down under a tree. Sarapul seemed to be taking a long time at his task. “Sometimes it’s hard,” Malink said. “Sometimes I can’t …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 60~61

60 Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch Mary Jean sat behind a desk fashioned entirely of rose quartz veined with fool’s gold and stared out the window at the Houston skyline. A brown haze had risen to the level of her fiftieth-floor office as the exhaust of a million cars huddled against the stratosphere and curled …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 58~59

58 Malink’s Song “They’re flying the new pilot in tomorrow,” said Sebastian Curtis. “I told them that Tucker wouldn’t fly, so he had to be eliminated. They weren’t happy about losing the heart and lungs.” Beth Curtis sat at her vanity, putting on her eye makeup for the appear-ance of the Sky Priestess. The red …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 56~57

56 Escape Kimi was trying to call up thunder and was having no luck at all. He’d been chanting and waving his arms for half an hour and there still wasn’t a cloud in the sky. “You’re not holding your arms right,” Sarapul said. He was lying under a palm tree, chewing a betel nut …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 54~55

54 Selling Tucker The Sky Priestess threw the straw hat across the room, then tore at the high-buttoned collar of the white dress. She was losing him. She hated that more than anything: losing control. She ripped the dress down the front and wrestled out of it. She stormed across the room, the dress still …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 51~53

51 Where Losers Flourish The Sorcerer paced back and forth across the lanai. “I want to find another pilot, Beth. We can’t let him act that way and get away with it.” The Sky Priestess yawned. She was draped across the wicker emperor’s chair, wearing a towel she’d wrapped above her breasts at the Sorcerer’s …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 49~50

49 The Bedside Manner of Cannibals Tuck slept through most of the day, then woke up with a pot of coffee over a spy novel. He looked at the words and his eyes moved down the pages for half an hour, but when he put it down he had no idea what he had read. …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 46~48

46 Beans and Succubus Tuck’s other partner showed up at his bungalow that evening as he was sitting down to a plate of pork and beans. She didn’t knock, or call out, or even clear her throat politely to let him know she was there. One minute Tuck was studying a gelatinous white cube of …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 44~45

44 Revealed: The Perfect Couple Back at his bungalow, an argument went on in the still-sober brain of Tucker Case. I am scum. I should have told them to shove it. But they might have killed you. Yeah, but I would have at least had my integrity. Your what? Get real. But I’m scum. Big …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 42~43

PART THREE Coconut Angel 42 Bedfellows Just before dawn, Tuck crawled through the bottom of the shower like a homesick cockroach, scuttled out of the bathroom under the mosquito netting and into bed. There were things to do, big things, important things, maybe even dangerous things, but he had no idea what they were and …

Island of the Sequined Love Nun Chapter 39~41

39 Showtime The Sky Priestess rolled over in bed and slapped the beeping intercom as if it was a mouthy stepchild. “I’m sleeping here,” she said. “Get in character, Beth. We have an order, due in Japan in six hours.” “Why don’t these fuckers ever call at a civilized hour?” “We guarantee freshness. We have …