The Four Agreements The Four Agreements After reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz I realized I’ve been living dreams of other people in my life and not my own. It was decided early on what I should do, what’s possible and what’s not. Starting at birth we are told what to think by our parents, schools, and church. Subconsciously, we have made agreements with them to live our life according to their rules. Don Miguel believes that these agreements are self-limiting and shares four agreements that if we adapt into our lives we will reach true peace and happiness.
The book made so much sense to me, but the hard part is to actually commit to living out the four agreements. In short, the four agreements are listed below: Be impeccable with your words. Speak with integrity and say what you mean. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Avoid gossip and remember words do hurt. Dictionary. com definition of impeccable is “incapable of sin” and a sin is something you do or believe that goes against you. At this point of my life I try to be nothing but the truth and I’ve learned from past experiences not to gossip about others because I understand the emotional power of words.
This agreement states that one should speak with integrity and by being impeccable with yourself will in return reflect in your life and world around you. I pride myself on usually keeping my word. Don’t Take Anything Personally. Get over yourself – it’s not about you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. I remember a time in my life when someone said something about me and it meant more than what I thought and knew new to be true about myself.
Over the years I’ve learned that what someone else thinks and/or says about me no longer matters. One day I woke up and I said to myself “I’m taking back my power over me. ” I guess that day I made an agreement with myself not to let what others think dictate my life. I finally realized that people will talk about you whether you’re doing good or bad. Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding, sadness and drama.
With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. We make assumptions because we need explanations (to our questions) to address what’s going on in our own minds. The mind is a powerful thing and our minds have different voices and personality that can create a lot of confusion. When I make assumptions there is always conflict that follows. I know now that through communication we can arrive to resolution. This agreement rings true for me and has caused disappointment and sadness in my life to be at a point in my life that I can ask for what I want.
Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. I don’t always feel as if I did my best—I never have, too. In this agreement I know it mentions that your best is going to change from moment to moment. I would like to experience my best more often. To truly give my best I have to be moved in some kind of spiritual way.
That is the only time I feel as if I’m doing something I want versus something I have to do. The more my life is shifting into trying to live more in the moment I’ve realized the more I do my best and the better I become. Three years ago I went into my personal dream(s) and started changing my agreements. I began to embark on a journey of self-healing. It was purely about finally living in peace, openly and freely, but first I needed to revisit some old childhood wounds that had been holding me hostage my entire life.
I began to pray daily in preparation to deal with the many demons that resides inside me. If I had kept the agreements given to me by my household and neighborhood while growing up, I would be in a mental institution or dead. As a child, I had no choice about what agreements that were instilled in me, but now I can create my own. I feel as if I’m living an impeccable life and am being true to the disciplines of a Toltec Warrior. http://archpsyc. ama-assn. org/cgi/content/abstract/68/1/33